Self Defeating Behaviors and Getting Back on the Wagon

I know I am worth more than just letting myself gain back all the weight I've lost.

I know I'm worth it to continue working hard to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose.

I know I am worth it to do all I can to keep myself healthy.

I know I am worth it.

I know my son is worth having a mother.

I know my son is worth having his mother at his wedding.

I know my son is worth having a mother that can play with his children.

I know my husband is worth having a wife that he can enjoy life with.

I know my husband is worth having a wife he can be proud of.

I know my husband is worth a wife that enjoys living life actively.

So why is it, that if I know so much, that it's so easy for me to fall back into the horrible behaviors that are killing me?  Why do I allow vacation to become a downward spiral where I risk falling right back in line with the negative behaviors that gained me all this weight to begin with?  I really need to pull in the reigns, pull up my big girl panties, and get back to it.

There are a couple things I am going to focus on this week:  the first thing is to make sure I track my food every day.  Without fail.  This is an important task because I very easily fall off the wagon with this, and after being on vacation for a week without tracking, I gained 5.4 pounds back (mostly water weight due to higher sodium intake) but if I had been tracking, I know it would not have been as bad.  However, vacation is vacation, and it only happens once a year.  So my first goal is to track on MyFitnessPal.com every day, and if I do that every day until next Thursday, I'll buy myself some pretty flowers!

My second priority for this week is to go buy my charm necklace for losing my first 25 pounds.  I haven't done it yet.  I don't know why.  I totally and completely deserve it.  I think right now I need this more than ever to have a daily reminder that I wear around my neck that I did lose 25 pounds, and to know that if I make it to the next 25 pounds, I'll have another charm to add.  It's even better because I won a $25 VISA cash card from work, plus a $25 gift card for Kohls.  So I know with my free $50 I can get a pretty nice necklace, and a cute charm! No excuses, I have to do that this week.

My third priority for the week is to find ways to get exercise that are fun, that don't make me feel like it's a chore, that is something feasible that I will really do.  Walking the mall is not really that fun for me, especially because it makes me just want to shop.  I was getting in to riding the exercise bike every night, but that's not as weight bearing as I need to really get the workout and to be able to move easier.  I want to keep the hikes up, because those are beautiful, but I don't like walking just around a neighborhood or anything that much.  One thing I'm dealing with is doing the 5k events, I'm not training in between them by walking, and I know that is an issue.  I really want to beat the time of my first 5k (1:09:33) when I do the next one on April 27.  The 5k I just did was a longer time than it should have been due to the mud path I had to hike up, the rocky trails, and crazy obstacles!

I think if I can track, buy the charm necklace, and try to get creative with physical fitness, I can regain control of my plan, and hopefully get back to where I was post vacation, and continue to lose weight.  I'm already feeling motivated just by typing this blog!!!  Thank you blog readers for helping me through this journey!