Day 5: Bored and Bloated

This morning I woke up and my stomach hurt. I had taken some liquid Tylenol a few hours before bed, and it had clearly worn off while I slept.  My stomach has been hurting mostly where my actual stomach is, and I think it's because my liver might be a little sore from where they move it out of the way.  So not necessarily my stomach, but in that general area.  I got right up out of my recliner and the first thing I did was take the Tylenol and chase it with a few ounces of water. It takes me about ten minutes to get the medicine down, but by the time I'm finishing it, it's already kicking in and that's awesome.  I think my smaller stomach and the fact that it's liquid has something to do with that.  

After my shower I started working on some protein drink and my other medicine.  I made breakfast for my family (sausage and eggs and english muffins... something I would normally eat way too much of) and didn't even want a bite.  It's a crazy feeling.  Yesterday I watched my husband cook and eat bacon and didn't feel the urge to suck on the bacon or lick the grease off his fingers.  Yes, I was considering these things before surgery during my pre-op diet. 

So where am I at with my weight loss? I've finally lost the hospital water weight, and then some.  This morning I weighed in at 377.8 which means I've lost a total of 36.7 pounds in the last month, since I've started pre-op diet, and I've lost 3.4 since the day before surgery because I'm cancelling out the water weight I gained and lost which was about 6 pounds. 

Overall today was a fairly uneventful day.  I gave myself another Lovenox injection.  Literally it's the thing I'm hating the most.  The second thing I hate the most is this liquid diet.  I know it's for the best to allow my stomach to heal, but it's gross.  I'm so tired of sweet.  I want savory.  I can have broths and protein soups (like Proti or Health Wise brand) but they are not that good.  I have a bag of unflavored protein that I can add to some soups and stuff, but I haven't heard back from my nutritionist to see if it's okay to maybe have some strained Campbell's soup with the added protein instead of those.  I'm learning quickly that I can't really reach out to her in the way she kind of led me to believe.  In our binder it has her cell number and says we can text anytime, seven days a week between 8am-8pm.  I texted her at about 10am and haven't heard back.  I am trying really hard to follow my binder to the letter because I want to be super successful, but I'm not sure how successful I can be if the options are literally making me gag.  So we'll see.  Tomorrow I am going to try the Cream of Wheat thinned out with some vanilla Protein shake.  That sounds like it can work or be really gross.  Luckily I will only be able to eat about a half serving, so if I have to make it again, it's no sweat off my back.  I'm just so excited to eat something that isn't broth, protein soup, pudding, jello or protein shake.  I'm very eager to get into the pureed/soft foods. 

I've started making my own shopping list for when I'm about to hit soft foods.  I've decided that I'm going to do my own week (or a few days, we'll see how well it goes) of pureed foods before I get into soft foods.  The plan they gave me doesn't even list pureed at all.  So I want to be extra careful that I don't hurt myself.  I fully intended to go the route of baby food for this stage, but looking online it seems like a lot of it is really high in sugar, and I don't want to eat anything high in sugar. I'll check them out when I'm at the store, but may just live on mashed potatoes (yum) with gravy or some blended refried beans with cheese (yum).  I can't imagine myself ever really wanting to have sweets again after all this liquid diet business.  I will have to supplement with protein shakes twice a day probably forever so I know I'm getting that protein in, but that's okay.  I'll have other variety. 

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful.  I did leave the house for a couple of hours and today I drove for the first time since the day before my surgery.  That was a little uncomfortable because my belly feels so bloated still (I feel nine months pregnant), and I was so scared the steering wheel would hit my incisions that I drove awkwardly.  But I did it.  I got to socialize for a bit, and be up on my feet for a couple hours and that was good.  

Later in the evening I was starting to feel the urge to spend money.  Something that has been kind of an issue lately.  I don't have food to graze on, splurge on, and to satisfy me, and I feel like I've been spending money to make up for that.  This is something I had previously discussed with my therapist, as oftentimes people who have weight loss surgery turn to alcohol.  They can't eat, and they get buzzed much faster.  Well I don't drink, but it's become very clear how much time spent eating, cooking, grazing, and shopping.  So I kept myself home, and did something that is unheard of for me...I went for a walk around the block.  By myself, and left my phone at home.  I walked around the block which is only .1 mile, but 5 days after surgery, I felt great.  My legs really wanted to go one or two more times but my abdomen was feeling bloated and heavy and I felt like I didn't want to overdo it.  I am proud of myself, and will start doing it every night.  

I'm going to meet a friend for dinner on Tuesday evening.  One thing I'm good at is looking at a menu ahead of time to see what I can eat.  I picked a place that has soup, which I can have, and they have french onion which isn't a heavy cream soup.  I'll request a cup of soup, without bread and cheese, and will just not eat the onions.  I think that will be great.  I'll probably only be able to eat about half of it anyways, but it's more about being able to live a normal life, be social, but make good decisions.  

Day 3: Coming Home

Today I came home from Coos Bay.  I had my final appointment with my surgeon and the assisting doctor at his office.  I woke up feeling really good.  Surprising since I slept pretty crappy last night overall.  I was sick of sleeping in a recliner, but the couch wasn't comfortable, and I didn't want to sleep on a kids bed, or go up the steep, ladder-like steps in our AirBnB.  

I woke up early and started sipping water and protein.  Grabbed a shower, gave myself my injection, and took my medications.  Everything was good.  I was so glad to be going home, though at the same time, I was super scared to leave the comfort of a town where my surgeon was.  That reminds me, I need to call and request copies of all my medical records be sent over to my actual doctor here in town.  Just so they are on file for future prescriptions, procedures, etc.  

Anyway, so I had one final appointment.  I got there and they weighed me (I was still about 2 pounds heavier than the day before surgery due to my cycle and the fluids they pumped into me while I was in the hospital).  I have a feeling that tomorrow when I weigh myself, I'll be less than I was the day before surgery which means things are starting to head the right direction.  

Once my vitals were taken, I spoke with one doctor who answered all the questions I had been coming up with since my first post-op appointment.  She was really great in answering all my questions.  The specific questions I had were:

1. How long until my stomach is healed and a leak is no longer a possibility?
2. How long after surgery until post-op blood clot risk is reduced to that of someone who hasn't had surgery?
3. How long until the bloating goes away?
4. Are these esophageal spasms normal and how long will they last?
5. When can I drive again?
6. Can I begin taking Miralax again as needed?
7. Can I start taking the liquid Extra Strength Tylenol during the day instead of the liquid painkiller they prescribed?

The answers to these questions were as follows:

1. If a leak hasn't happened by now (we did a leak test the day after) and I don't do anything stupid like eat a bunch of regular food when I shouldn't, then it probably won't happen.  Also, the stomach should be totally healed in 6 weeks and then it won't be any issue at all. 
2. About the time I'm done taking my 2 weeks' worth of Lovenox injections (blood thinners).
3. The bloating from the gas they pumped into me can take about 3 weeks to be fully absorbed and expelled.
4. The spasms are normal and will go away in the days to come.  
5. I can drive when I'm not taking any of the narcotic pain medication during the day anymore. 
6. I can take the Miralax or Milk of Magnesia as needed. 
7. Yes to the Tylenol. 

So there we have that folks.  Overall they said I looked really great, and that everything was on track.  I have a follow up visit at their office in a month.  While I can track my progress on my home scale, I'm very excited to become a success story for their office.  I can't wait for those 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 9 month, and 12 month follow ups to see my progress with them. 

After I scheduled my next appointment, my folks and I packed the truck and headed back to my place.  We stopped halfway to stretch and go to the bathroom, and then made on more stop for them before my house which was ok because I was so over being in the truck.  My belly was just about done being jiggled around, and sitting upright gets uncomfortable when I can stand and stretch the way I want to.  

I got home and my family was still at school and work so I had a chance to say my goodbye's, take some pain medicine, and grab some fluids.  I was rocking through those fluids probably because I couldn't feel the pain of how much I was drinking.  Over 3 hours I drank about 18 oz of fluid between water, gatorade, and protein drink.  I was feeling like a total champ.  That is until I took my evening medication (2 pills) and they got stuck in my throat for a little bit. I was being lazy and sitting in my recliner when I took them so I wasn't sitting upright enough for a smooth trip to my stomach.  That was seriously uncomfortable.  I reached out to a friend who had the surgery about 2 months ago and she talked me off the ledge and told me to take some pain meds and to find something else to do so I wasn't just sitting there thinking about it.  That definitely helped.  She also told me to really not take so much liquid in and to try to slow down.  I'm pushing and I need to not do that.  

So I am just now starting to sip the other half of my peppermint tea because my mouth is ridiculously dry.  I've also had major charlie horses in my calves for 2 days because my fear of blood clots is so bad that any time I sit down I do ankle rolls and flex my feet, and all kinds of twitchy-ness and my poor calves are about over it.  Talking to the doctor today about the blood clot risk she explained that I can sit for an hour or two at a time and if I get up and move around for a bit I'll be fine.  Another friend that has had the surgery told me to walk 5 minutes for every hour of sitting so I want to try doing that too.  I just want my calves to stop aching so I won't think I'm dying all the time.  

Since I've been home my anxiety has been much higher than it has been since after surgery.  I think that is because I'm 2 hours away from my surgeon and the hospital where I had my surgery.  I can't stop thinking of post-op complication risks, etc.  I know I need to just be in the moment.  One thing I've noticed is how much more calm I feel after I take the narcotic pain medication.  It's a relief to not feel so worried about death for a while.  I know this was a textbook operation, and that overall I don't have any co-morbidities to cause extra major complications, but anxiety brain tells me there are no guarantees and then I worry all the time.  I'm thinking it's time to may get myself back on the anxiety medication so I can live my life like a normal person than one living in fear all the time.  

I'm exhausted from this first day home.  I can't lift anything more than 20 pounds for 6 weeks.  I feel like an invalid, and in a way I am.  I just had a major operation and need to allow myself to heal.  I just feel lazy, but also need to find more stuff to occupy my mind and hands that won't strain me or hurt me in any way.  I have some needlepoint I need to finish, and some succulents I need to get planted after a trip to the garden center for more soil, and containers.  

Until next time...

Day after surgery.

This morning was the swallow test, and I rocked it.  They took me back and had me changed into a gown (just my top stuff had to be taken off) and stood me in front of this tall xray machine.  They first gave me a cup with some iodine kool-aid in in.  I took a sip and they watched that go down.  They thought it looked good so they had me take another sip from the side and that was fine.  Then they gave me a cup with some super heavy dense thick white stuff called barium.  I took a gulp of that and they watched it go down.  Then they had me chase it with some water and said that everything looked good and they would share it with my surgeon, who I was going to see next. 

I left the hospital and stopped to pick up my Lovenox (blood thinner injections that I'll be giving myself for 2 weeks once a day).  After that we headed to the surgeons office where they weighed me (I only gained 4 pounds of water weight from surgery and that will be gone fast), and took me back to the room.  They took my vitals, and then removed my drain.  That was awful.  The most painful thing.  She said it would feel "weird" but no, it felt like she was pulling my new stomach out.  Gross  She then gave me my injection and then I talked to one of the doctors I saw in the hospital, and then my surgeon.  I shook his hand and thanked him for getting me through safely.  After that I was told I can start taking my pills (Prevacid, Reglan, and my blood pressure med Hydrochlorothorazide) as well as go ahead and start back up on my liquid diet that I had been following except now I can add Cream of Wheat!  Woo!  Something new!  Oatmeal too, but it has to basically be drinkable. Now I'll be following the liquid diet for another 4 weeks as my tiny stomach heals up, then I can move into pureed and soft foods.

 I plan to do pureed foods for a weeklong transition to make sure I'm adjusting well to the thicker foods.  So babyfood and thinned out mashed potatoes and stuff like that.  I'm really eager to eat some sliced turkey with some cheese.  That will be glorious!!!  I'll definitely be able to eat foods again come Thanksgiving and the boys can share a tiny few bites of their food with me.  Easy peasy.

Overall, I feel like my recovery couldn't be more idea.  I'm not trying to be cocky, because I realize it's still early in the game and things can happen, but I'm really trying to follow the rules and keep me feet and legs moving to avoid clots, and to get fluids on board to start beating the dehydration that set in a day before surgery.  They only gave me 2 bags of fluids over 10 hours in my recovery room which I thought was crazy.  So today I really want to chug, but know that would be a very bad idea.  So I sip slowly and know that if I keep it up, I'll get where I need to be. 

My parents have been so amazing.  I don't know how I would have gotten through this without them.  They are so incredibly thoughtful and helpful and caring to me.  They've really done a million little things that have made all the difference.  I'm glad we have a couple days now of downtime so they can go enjoy the town, rest, and not have to drive me to and fro to appointments.  Friday is my final appointment before I go home, and then they will take me home and then I'll be on my own to continue to heal for another week before I go back to work. 

All of my friends that have been checking on me, and everyone in the FB groups I'm in for this have all been amazing too.  So helpful and friendly and encouraging.  I'm definitely blessed to have them all in my life. 

I made it!

Well folks, I made it through surgery.  Now to take good care of myself and avoid any post-surgical complications.  I'm working hard to document my journey and transformation so this is the best account I can give of my pre-op appointments through this morning, the first day after my surgery.  Here goes...

On Monday, my family and I drove to Coos Bay, OR where I was going to have the surgery.  My parents were going to be meeting us after my pre-op appointments at the AirBnB, then say goodbye to my family as they had to go back home for work and school.  We got into town just a smidge early, but the took me back early for my first pre-op appointment at the surgeons office.  All they did was take "before" pictures of me, took some vitals, and then weighed me at my request.  It was an odd pre-op visit in my opinion.  

After that visit, we had about 2.5 hours to kill, and the next appointment was literally a block away.  So we took the boys to McD's and got them lunch, and got me some water to drink and to have a protein drink.  After that we stopped at the store and the gas station and then looked for a park to go hang out at for an hour and a half or so.  We found this cool little spot near the place I was going to be staying that was right on the bay.  We hung out, watched the water, took some pictures and watched the Coast Guard helicopters coming and going.  Finally I couldn't take anymore, so we headed to the hospital for my next pre-op visit.  

During my pre-op visit, the RN asked me tons of questions about my vitamins, medications, etc.  I had been told at my first appointment in August I would be prescribed a regimen of blood thinners to take for 2 weeks.  I asked who would be dispensing that to me and she had no idea.  She called the hospital pharmacy and they told her they didn't do it.  So I said I would call the doctors office after my appointment because the surgeons assistant had told me it would be given to me at my pre-op.  

So after I was done with getting my check-in and surgery time I left and called the surgeons assistant asking her what was going on with the thinners.  We had just turned down the road to the house we were staying at when she called me back and said the prescription would be at the front desk.  Good grief.  My stress level was high, my anxiety was high, I wanted to just be in the house and take off my shoes for a bit but now had to go back to the doctors office again, to go back to Walgreen's again, to skedaddle back to the AirBnB to get the car back to my husband so he could head home.  I ran up there fast, grabbed it and dropped it off then jetted back to the BnB.  My folks had just gotten there so we said our hello's and then I said my goodbye's to my family and sent them home.  My parent's and I spent the evening chatting with each other and then they went out to dinner and let me relax a bit.  Later that evening I watched 911 with my son on Google Duo so it was like we were sitting with each other which I think made both of us feel better in a way.  I know he's been a little worried about my surgery too. 

The next morning my parents and I woke up bright and early to head to the hospital and check-in at 7:30am.  Surgery was scheduled for 2 hours after that.  They took me to my pre-op space and had me change into my gown and then wipe myself down with some anti-bacterial wipes.  After that they had me get up to pee and lucky me, my period freaking started.  So they got me some mesh panties and the worst pad on the planet.  I was so hoping that I would not have it until a day or two after surgery.  I got very lucky in that their stupid pads worked until I could get my own giant boat pad.  Anyway, TMI. 

So while they were doing the check-in a nurse came by and blurted "pre-op" to the nurse in my cubby with me.  She looked at me and basically said that means you are going in sooner than 9:30.  Holy crap.  So another nurse came in to help her so it went by faster.  They brought out the machine to help find a vein because nothing was glaringly useful.  The 2nd nurse gave it a try, and my vein blew.  Which I had no idea what that meant, and thought it meant something bad.  I'm such a worrywort.  So they tried again in the back of my left hand, twice, and both of those blew as well.  Then they tried again on my right hand.  Blew.  At this point, I was mega stressed out feeling like maybe all this was a bad idea and I was thinking of running away.  My dad was there with me and was helping me to stay in somewhat good spirit.  They went and got an anesthesiologist to come take a look to see if he could find a vein and he couldn't at first.  So they said they were going to take me back to recovery where they have an ultrasound machine to help find the vein since my veins were being so finicky.  I was mega dehydrated and that was causing the issue.  So at that point my dad was saying goodbye to me and that's when I lost it and started bawling like a baby.  I felt like I was saying goodbye to my dad for the last time and that I wasn't going to make it through surgery, etc.  I tried to pull myself together to say good bye, and gave him a kiss and hug and off he went to the waiting room with mom.  

They wheeled me back to recovery and the anesthesiologist found a vein within a few minutes and put the IV in me.  They immediately gave me something to relax me which normally I want nothing to do with, but at this point I wanted to check-out so bad I was fine with it.  I didn't know they had done it until I felt it, and it was awesome.  I felt so much better.  They got me into the OR, and within about 4 minutes, I was going under. 

The next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room feeling like I was having a heart attack. The pressure in the middle of my breasts was unlike anything I've ever experienced.  It was awful.  To be on the safe side, they gave me an EKG which was clear, and they told me so, and that helped me know it was the gas pain I was feeling and not me actually dying.  After a bit of me dozing in and out they took me up to my own room in the short-stay unit to continue my recovery.  They showed me how to work the TV, bed, gave me ice chips, etc.  The nurses were all fantastic.  Everyone was so nice.  I had one CNA that wasn't a huge fan of helping me out, but it was a guy, and when he was helping me during a quick walk told me he had an MBA in Hospital Administration and didn't like being a CNA but liked working for the hospital.  So that was interesting.  

My parents came in to check on me for a while but since I was so in and out of it decided they would head home until they knew I was close to checking out.  I really thought it would be around 5-6pm, but then one of the nurses told me no way, it was going to be around 11pm.  My parents are such troopers to stick by me for all this stuff.  They are amazing.  I don't know if I could have done it all without their awesome support.  They really got me through.  I asked for more ice chips and was crunching those down like they were going out of style and worked on my breathing.  I was taking short naps, and took two walks around through my stay.  It hurt so bad to get up out of bed, and going to the bathroom was such a chore with that gown going all which way, and my right middle finger had that monitor on it, so I was afraid it would get all gross during personal care.  Ugh.  

Overall while the day felt like it was dragging I took many naps, drank about 9oz of water through 10 hours, but ate about 1.5 cups of crushed ice as well.  They emptied my drains a couple times, and got me everything I wanted and needed.  I felt so much better when I was able to put my own underwear back on. LOL.  They kept saying I did so great, and was basically a model patient.  They even told me as I was leaving to come back in a year and see them so they could see the new me. LOL. As I'm sitting here typing this, I'm walking in place because I'm also paranoid about blood clots.  I won't have my next Levanox injection until after I pick them up between appointments so I'll be taking them with me to the doctors office so they can show me what to do.  I was totally out of it when they gave me the shot post-op yesterday. 

Today I'm not able to have anything to drink until after my esophagram (swallow test with barium to make sure my new stomach doesn't have any leaks).  After that, I have a follow up with my surgeon's office to have my drain removed.  I'm really paranoid they are going to find a leak and I'm not sure what that means will have to happen other than they go back in and fix it which means another surgery that will totally be out of pocket.  Fingers crossed I don't have to deal with that.  Ever.

So that's what the last 36 or so hours have looked like for me.  Now I'm going to get up and walk around a little since they said today I need to be walking as much as I can to help continue to get the gas pains out and avoid blood clots.  I'll have another post up in a day or three to continue the story of surgery week.  Peace!

Surgery is NEXT WEEK!

This is it.  I'm having my surgery next week.  It's been rough being on this liquid diet for...the 17th day now.  7 days previous to that I was on 2/3 liquids and 1/3 food.  So I feel like I've been doing this FOREVER.  I'm down just over 29 pounds though since my appointment with the surgeons office and I am sure they will be pleased with that progress. 

On Monday I'll be sending my boy off to school then heading to Coos Bay with my husband to take care of my hospital pre-op appointment and my pre-op appointment with my surgeon's office.  After that, I'll get hubby some lunch, check in to my Airbnb, and then send him home and wait for my parents to arrive.  My husband will be going back home for work and to take care of our son for the week while I have surgery and some gentle recovery.  My parents are very excited for me, and excited to be able to come up and take care of me while getting some time in a new town to relax.  I'm looking forward to snuggling their little therapy dog while I recover. 

Tuesday is the big day.  I'll get my check-in time on Monday and after midnight can't have any "food" or drink at all.  I say "food" because why in the hell would I eat something the night before surgery if I've been on freaking liquids for 3 solid weeks to prepare.  You'd be surprised I guess! Well, that's not going to happen to me.  I'm following the rules.  My 3 cheats since I started liquid diet: I ate one bite of egg salad about 2 weeks ago and it was GROSS, I ate a bite of mashed potatoes, and I skimmed some chili broth off the pot of delicious chili I made for the boys.  That's it.  Aside from that it's been pudding and skim milk and broths and jello and protein shakes and I'm so sick of all of it.  I really, really, really want to fill my belly to bursting with cheese pizza.  But I'm not going to.  Why? Because I want to be SUCCESSFUL.  I have 1 more day of work, then I'm off for 2 weeks plus Labor Day.  I'll be so ready to go back to work and start building up my sick and vacation time again after that.  I've depleted all of my paid time off for this.  The next 9 months or so until my 40th birthday will have minimal time off (which really blows) because I need to save up for my big 40th birthday trip to Hawaii that I've been planning on for about 10 years.  I want to take my family, best friend and her kiddo, and maybe my parents if they want to come.  I want to spend about 8 days and 7 nights there playing on the beaches, exploring jungles, etc.  I want us to take a Segway adventure because even though it's kind of dorky, it's going to be super fun.  I want to go ziplining, scuba diving, and maybe, if I can build up my bravery, go Parasailing. Definitely stand-up paddle boarding.  Definitely ziplining.  Yes. 

My first BIG goal is to be down at least 100 pounds by my 40th birthday.  Based on what I've seen in others' accounts that is totally realistic if I stick to the plan.  A part of me mourns the fact that I will have a stomach the size of a half cup when traveling to the islands, however, I have a feeling me not being able to eat like I used to is going to save us some BIG $$$.

My first mini goal after surgery is to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year.  Something tells me I'm going to kick that goals ass.  That would mean I'd probably be closer to 150 down by my birthday and that would be SO AWESOME.  I need to be under 260 to Segway, and the farther below that number the better.   My ultimate perfect goal is 175, but 200 is my more realistic goal, and I would be fine around 225.  Hoping that by my 45th birthday I'm in super good shape, and can then have all the skin removal surgery for my tummy, thighs, arms, and have a breast lift too. They are already deflated melons...I have a good idea of just how much flatter and deflated they are going to be after surgery.

It's happening!

I'm doing it!  I'm having Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy at the end of this month!  I got brave and made the phone call and made this happen.  I DID IT! I called the Bariatric surgeon's office that I wanted to go through and made the appointment.  I was considered a good candidate due to my high BMI (60) and lack of too many comorbidities (pre-diabetic and slightly elevated blood pressure) so they put me on the schedule for the nutrition counseling, psychiatric consult, and surgical consult.  All of these I had to pay for out of pocket as my insurance doesn't cover it.  I also had bloodwork and an EKG performed.  I took a day off from work and did all of this in a single day...

On August 27 I drove myself to Coos Bay, OR to have all my consultations.  It was early.  It even rained a bit on my way there.  I was so excited and nervous all at the same time!  I got out there, found the office, and parked.  And then waited.  I had a pep-talk with myself about why I was there, and what I was hoping to accomplish.  I told myself I'd be honest about anything and everything they asked, and I wouldn't make a scene and cry if they told me I wasn't a good candidate.  I gathered my thoughts and headed inside to check-in.  I checked in to the medical center just like any other doctor appointment and then headed to the Bariatric office. 

I walked through the clear glass double doors and walked in to the fanciest doctors office I've ever seen.  It was like something you'd see in Beverly Hills: marble, tile, fancy lights, and very chic.  I checked in at the counter and they had me pay for my nutrition class right then.  I took a seat and chatted with my neighbor for a bit.  She was there for all the same stuff as me...the only difference is I had about 200 pounds on her (at least). 

They called us back and there were three of us: myself, a guy who was a quite a bit larger than myself, and my friend from the lobby.  The guy's elderly parents were there and probably for good reason. Sounds like they may have been enabling him and needed to really hear about how much his life is going to change.  We ran through the nutrition stuff, which included talking about how our eating habits were going to change, discussing our pre-op diet requirements, what to expect before and after surgery, and how great our life is going to change with the hard work.  They told us they wanted us to follow a 2 week pre-operative diet that basically consists of protein shakes, broths, sugar free jello, sugar free pudding, half a yogurt per day, and diet non-carbonated drinks.  We were all given goodie bags that included plenty of samples of different types of protein drinks, protein soups, mints, lip balm, a food measurer, and a binder that had all of our surgical information in it.  The binder is like my bible right now.  Everything regarding this surgery is in there.  Pre-op.  Day of Surgery.  Post-op.  Lifestyle changes.  Behavior modification.  Shopping lists.  Meal ideas.  It's exactly the type of thing I was hoping we would be given. 

Right after the nutrition class, I had my psych consult.  I was actually quite nervous about this one with my history of OCD and Anxiety.  The psychiatrist was this little old lady that was just super freaking adorable, and super incredibly kind and easygoing.  I knew halfway through that she was going to approve me since I've been under ongoing care of a therapist and wasn't suicidal or anorexic or bulimic.  She asked loads of questions, awkward at times, but thorough.  She told me before I left that she was approving me and wished me luck on my journey.  Off to the next appointment. 

After the psych consult, I had a bit of time before my surgical consult so I went and had my bloodwork and EKG completed.  These tests were on two separate floors but it was super easy.  Blood draws have never been an issue for me and I knew that I've always had normal EKG's so I wasn't expecting a surprise.  I got those done and they handed me my results in the moment and sent me back to the surgeon's office for my visit with him. 

Back through the glass doors into the Beverly Hills-style lobby.  I handed them my folder, and took a seat while I waited to be called back.  Shortly after that, I was called back by the same person who did my nutrition class that morning.  I had a brief one on one with her and asked her a few questions.  I brought up the fact that since I was a cash-pay patient, I haven't had to follow a long term insurance-required plan prior to surgery and asked if she thought it would be good for me to tack on an extra week for the pre-op diet.  She said, "I'd like you to start tomorrow".  She told me that she wanted me to follow a modified liquid diet for the first week which meant protein shakes during the day for breakfast and lunch, and a dinner of protein and vegetables.  Then the next three weeks after that leading to surgery were going to be the actual clear liquid diet.  After we went over that she had the surgeon come in who did a basic exam and asked me some questions.  We briefly chatted about how while the surgery is one with minor complication rates, there is still risk as it's still a surgery.  But he assured me the benefits to me far outweigh the risk and said we would definitely be moving forward with surgery.  He approved my requested surgery date: September 25, 2018.  I sat with the schedulers and got on the books and they told me they would send me a packet with my pre- and post-op appointments as well as my SIX prescriptions, and that I was good to go. 

Once I was done with that, I was starving.  It was about 2:30pm and I hadn't yet eaten lunch so I left the medical center and headed straight for the golden arches.  I immediately started feeling sad about how I was going to have to say goodbye to all of these terrible comfort foods I had been relying on for so many years of my life.  I grabbed some lunch and hit the road back to home, thinking about my surgery all the way there.  This is going to be such a huge life change for me.  But it's going to be for the best.  I'm so ready.  I want this so bad.  I want to be able to live life the way I want to.  Free.  Free of this excess weight.