Well it's been awhile now hasn't it? Last time I posted it was 32 days until we were leaving for Disneyland and I was having terrible anxiety about not fitting into the airplane seat, being kicked off, and causing the worst scene ever. Well, guess what? I went on my trip, I flew, I fit on the plane (yes, I needed an extender, but barely), I was comfortable, it was actually fun flying (though I HATE turbulence), and I fit just fine on every single ride I went on. I felt so free! I am going to do a post, hopefully, just about our trip, and how it went, but this post is one that I've been needing to write. Now, I know there probably isn't anyone out there reading these anyway, but I've got to get it out.
I've slacked off. On December 11, 2012 I started my "journey" to lose my evil twin. Now it's been almost 2 whole years and my weight keeps yo-yoing around 40 pounds lost (of which I lost most of this weight by April 15, 2013...so within a 5 month period).
I still weigh enough that I can't even put the true numbers out there publicly yet, though someday when I'm truly an "after", I'll do it. I already have my "fat pants" picked out for when I lose all the weight. In fact, the 40 pounds I have lost has made it to where I can't hardly wear those pants anymore, but I'm such an awkward size/shape right now, that I can't really buy new work pants yet because they aren't comfortable enough for me. So I still wear them, knowing they are ridiculously baggy, and make me look sort of frumpy. But I have a big belly still that has a lot of fat that hangs down, so a lot of pants look really bad on me. I can easily tell you that someday, if I lose all this weight, absolutely 100% I will have to have skin removal surgery. Even if I have to pay for it all up front myself, it's going to happen. There will be so much. EW. It's disgusting. Seriously.
Anyway, so I've been bouncing around 40 pounds lost: I'll gain 5-6 pounds back, then get my business somewhat back together, and lose it again. So right now, I'm at almost 43 pounds lost. I feel a lot better, but I know I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. I bought a months worth of Shakeology (that shit is way to fucking expensive however, I have had less cravings for crappy food overall, but the cost isn't worth it when I can make protein shakes/smoothies myself that keep me full and happy), and also a package of Shaun T Hip Hop Abs stuff. I borrowed a disc from my "coach", and did it for a week or two, then had that Disney vacay to go on so I lost track of it. I've been losing the weight again, but not tracking anything in MyFitness Pal (except my weigh-ins), and haven't been working out. I feel more energetic since I've been trying to eat a little better, more fruits and veggies and salads for lunch (another post that will be coming soon!), but it's not enough.
Talking to a friend at work about the need to work out more...I cannot stand just going to the gym to sit on an exercise bike for 45 minutes, or walk on the treadmill or even the elliptical which I prefer of the three, but it's what I do, when I go because I'm to scared to go near the weight stacks.
I'm a big girl. I have strength due to my size. I have a lot of fat to convert to muscle. I love to lift weights. But I have no idea of what routine to follow, etc. And guess what? I don't have one single person to go with me that would be helpful. Right now, I also don't have any free time due to work and familial obligations outside of work. Ugh.
What I really want to do is Crossfit type stuff, but I can't afford another gym membership, especially one that's like $50-100 a month. No way. A friend suggested jump-roping and another hula hooping. I have a jump rope and I'm going to give it a try, but really, truly want to get into the weights. Where there is a will there is a way I supposed. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.
